BY LUIS GONZALEZ
2019 was a disastrous year for my business; we went all year without signing any contracts. I
had to sell many things, including personal assets, just to keep the main utilities paid. In the past I have shared with the men's support group at Hope4Life about losing my office and truck, both palpable assets, but I hadn't noticed that I had also lost my joy. I was whipping myself with thoughts of “less than.” Why was the world of business working for others, but not for me?
Many times I questioned God because I did not understand how I could go thru all this. After all, I think I am generous, and a good tither, too! I was going through a mild depression without even knowing it. Then 2020 hit. While it was a terrible year for others, it was great for me. We started signing new work and I started paying off all my debts from 2019. But, even tough things were starting to pick up financially, I still found myself mildly depressed. But it was not until New Year’s week that I realized it.
You see, all through 2019 and 2020, I was literally throwing all my tools and materials into my
storage, as if it were a dumpster. Why? Because I was depressed and pissed about what had happened to my business. But something of a spiritual nature happened when I went to the storage on New Year's week. While I stood outside -- I could not walk in it was so messy!-- I heard a voice that said, "You have had this storage facility since you opened your company 8 years ago and you have never not been able to pay for it, yet you still have it! That inner voice set in remembrance an avalanche of things I had not lost, like my wife, my son, my apartment, the food in the fridge, my clothes, my health, and on and on and on!
All of a sudden, I burst into tears when I realized:
“Shit Gonzalez! You have not been thankful for what you do have, you have been focusing on what you lost!"
I realized then that I had not been thankful for all the wonderful things that are still in my life. So, I started organizing my storage and purposed in my heart to be thankful for all the things He has given me, instead of being remorseful for the things I have lost.
So far, I have been walking in a new freedom and with newfound Joy. It reminded me of the song;
"Put on the garment of Praise for the spirit of Heaviness"
Thankfulness removed my heaviness.
To hear the song, click here.