BY NATALIE GOMEZ
What is the lesson to be learned, in reliving what I would call "torture."
The torture of being invalidated and minimized. In having big dreams and big emotions that are shut down as quickly as they come. Expressing myself and being told that I am wrong for the way that I feel. Secluding internally to protect myself and feeling alone while being surrounded by "loved ones."
I'm so tired of hiding. I'm so done. But what is my lesson to learn? How do I break free? How do I stop this madness for my generations? How do I stop this from happening to my children? How do I fight this torture?
I honor myself. Natalie, I honor you. You are not wrong, you are not bad, you are not too much. You are beautiful in all of your fullness. I'm so sorry that you're here again. We will get out together, we will learn how to honor ourselves.
After years of my thoughts and emotions being minimized because those around me are not able to "handle them" - I can see that I've also become a minimizer, a person unable to hold space for themselves or others.
I forgive you, Natalie. I forgive you for shutting me down and for shutting others down. Connecting to myself I can see that I'm dying to be heard and seen - but who is the most important person that needs to see me?
I am enough and I am worthy.