This is a collection of poems written by some of the participants of our Creative Healing Workshop at Hope4Life, with guest author Diana Rodriguez.
The poems were inspired by the following fill-in-the-blank prompts:
I AM_____
I AM FEELING_______
I WANT TO SEE MY SELF IN FIVE YEARS OF HEALING_________
We called this collection of poems "Lost & Found" because most of us lost ourselves hiding from our pain. The interesting part, however, is that when we actually face our pain (even if it's through poetry), we find ourselves again and God fills in the blanks for us. Below are just a few of the many poems that were birthed that day, from some of the participants who decided to share.
I AM …
I AM ALL THE WORDS I DON’T SAY
I AM THE TEARS I SHED
I AM THE LOVE I CRAVE
I AM THE TRUST I MAKE
I AM LOUD SILENCE IN PAIN
I AM LAUGHTER WITH NO SHAME
I AM SUNSHINE AND THUNDER
I AM NOT ALONE OR ASTRAY
I AM THE FURY I RAGE
I AM THE LOVE I CRAVE
I AM BELOVED WITH NO SHAME
I AM EVERYTHING I DIDN’T GET
I AM MY MOTHER’S
I AM MY FATHER’S
I AM THE LOVE THEY MADE
I AM FOUND WITH NO SHAME
I AM NEVER LOST OR ASTRAY
I AM WHOLLY WITH NO SHAME
I AM THE LOVE I MAKE
I AM THE LOVE WITH NO SHAME
I AM I AM’S
AND WHO I AM MADE.
By Yemibeth Zamora
HERE I AM, FEELING MY PAIN
Here I am, feeling my pain
So much hurt that I can finally cry
There’s more to search and gain
From asking the question why?
Look pass the trauma
I see my false self
Where were you mama
I needed you for my health
Where did my identity go?
I lost myself in addiction
Now I live with nothing to show
All along I longed for adoration
Where do I belong?
I feel so alienated
For now I just hold on
Hoping to feel accepted
Feel it, name it
The heart of the problem
I’ll give this the credit
My feelings of shame
Now I know the issue
I can keep showing up
Just hand me a tissue
As I heal and grow up
Unconditional love was the answer
My younger self begged for
Many times It made me look weaker
Too many times I chose to ignore
So I built a belief
For self protection
That resulted in grief
I let go of that projection
I am loved and chosen
this is the beauty of healing
Learning to forgive my broken
Through the reality of feeling
By Tuan Le
I WANT TO SEE MYSELF
What I envision, is irrelevant without a willingness to see it through.
Knowledge is power
Courage is attainable and
I am capable.
I wonder if my dreams will ever come true. I wouldn’t have to wonder, If I would just do what I have to do.
I want to be seen.
I want to be heard.
I want to be loved.
I want to be understood.
I want to be respected.
I want to be admired.
I want to be forgiven.
I can envision making a difference. I can envision happy children and a truly loving marriage.
I want to envision myself in full acceptance of wherever I may be; physically, emotionally and spiritually.
I will live in my vision, while accepting my reality.
By Lissy Rico
AWARE
The love of the now
The feeling of knowing
Not understanding
Why, where or how.
Yet we live in love
Without really knowing
That now we understand
What love does
Right where we stand
In the now
In the where
In the how
By Giorgio Cerboncini
PARALYZED
Pain left you Paralyzed
with no one to empathize
Scared of the unknowns
Moments of fear, down to the bones
What’s the point of having wings
When you can’t even fly
Use the voice that sings
“It’s always worth a try”
See that it’s okay to be brave
And feel afraid in an instant
True courage is like a wave
Flowing, crashing, persistent.
Don’t lose yourself in the anger
Speak up and let it be seen
It may seem hard but you are stronger
Than what you thought you have been
See life become colorful
No longer black + white
But truly Beautiful
When you step towards the light
By Tuan Le
I AM FEELING FREEDOM
Freedom to express my emotions
Willing to walk away from pain,
every step I take draws me closer to my Freedom.
Wanting to love myself brings great joy & Freedom
Letting go of what I cannot change pushes me to my Freedom
Choosing to break free from my chains of Shame gives me Freedom
Taking off my mask an allowing myself to be naked & not ashamed in my Freedom
Wanting to love again gives me Freedom
Accepting who I am & who I belong to gives me Freedom
Embracing my Father’s love gives me Freedom.
By Colin Aparicio
I AM FEELING
I am feeling anxious
I am feeling scared
I am feeling nervous
I am feeling sad
When I am alone
But when I am with people who love me
I am feeling accepted
I am feeling happy
I am feeling loved
I am feeling at home
I am feeling abandoned
I am feeling scared
I am feeling insecure
I am feeling lost
But when I listen to God
I am feeling seen
I am feeling protected
I am feeling secure
I am feeling special
By: Angela Santos
I AM THE PRODIGAL
I am a child of the King...
but I feel like the prodigal
embarrassed that the king would forgive me
that he would put a fine robe and a ring on me
(doesn't he see my dirty feet?)
I am uneasy with his plan to kill the fatted calf for me,
when I just wanted to sneak in the side door and get to work so that,
maybe, I could earn his love.
The fear of His anger hangs over me,
and yet I still often choose my own way, rationalizing.
His grace astounds me.
I look at myself as my older brother, the "good" one does:
with contempt, for all I have done and all I have failed to do...
Yet I AM a child of the King, because he says he wants me to be.
By Eric Meyers
I AM SEEN
I AM seen. Though I brush through the reeds with every bat of my lashes. Open and close. I see. I see the way that you try not to see me. The way that I burn irrevocable holes into your iris. Open and close.
I AM seen. I matter. I breathe. I more than take up space or occupy time. I AM matter. I AM seen, no flick of the light or parlor trick, no imaginative slick. I AM REAL.
I wake up everyday, to choose to be seen and tell myself it is okay where I am not acknowledged, because mostly and most of all it matters that I see me. I look in the mirror, I breathe.
Look in the mirror, do not forget.
Open and close, breathe.
I AM SEEN because I SEE MYSELF.
I am, even still a child crying out and I see her too.
No trick, no half this.
I AM and always will be Raquel.
Open and close.
You are allowed to see yourself and marvel at the gifts your eyes are meant to recognize.
Open and close.
I AM Seen.
By: Raquel Koch
PRACTICE SELF-LOVING
Self love is healing
What’s this new language?
Unlearning my ways of self loathing
Is there anything left of me to salvage?
How can I take myself seriously?
If I was treated like a burden
I learned to hate myself furiously
Slowly my heart began to harden
I listened to others speak lies
I believed those toxic words
But it was really their hurt in disguise
Now I know I can learn to be to heard
Brave heart speak again
Be courageous to fight
I know I’m not insane
By showing up to the light
Hurt people, hurt people
I started to perceive
Healed people, heal people
I started to believe
By Tuan Le
MY LIFE AFTER FIVE YEARS OF HEALING
The prodigal daughter has returned home
She has felt the calling
She is safe now
She has found her real identity
She has found real love
She is happy
She is complete
She is a hero, a warrior, a strong woman
She is my heart
She is my love
By Ivy Connors
HOW I WANT TO SEE MYSELF IN 5 YEARS OF HEALING AT H4L:
I will be more at ease with myself, and my aging, the unsteadiness of my hands;
the fact that some of my longest-held dreams have not come to pass;
that I am a "father figure" because I have aged out of the brother figure category.
I will have tamed my critical spirit, which will be a relief to my wife, and to me,
because it has aimed its arrows at us both.
I will have quit rationalizing why I am usually silent in men's group,
and will have let myself be known, and tasted the freedom that brings.
I will have learned to cherish my wife in the ways that have been hardest for me,
because of my spirit of scarcity.
I will have learned to treat shame as the terrorist that it has been in my life,
and quit giving it any space or comfort.
By Eric Meyers
I WANT TO SEE MYSELF IN FIVE YEARS …
I WANT TO GROW UP.
I WANT TO BE KIND, SWEET AND NICE.
I WANT A WORLD WHERE THE PAST IS BEHIND.
I WANT A WORLD WHERE LOVE ABOUNDS.
I WANT PEACE AND STILLNESS TO BE ONE.
I WANT TO BE ME.
I DON’T WANT TO WISH, HOPE AND PRAY TO BE SOMEONE I WAS NOT MEANT TO BE.
I WANT TO LOVE AND LET THAT IN.
I WANT PASSION, FULLNESS AND JOY.
I WANT WHOLENESS, NO LEFT TIME BEHIND FOR SORROW AND PAIN.
I WANT TO GROW-UP.
NO LONGER CRYING FOR MOM.
NO LONGER SEARCHING FOR HOME.
I WANT TO BE FOUND, BE-LOVED AND SECURE.
I WANT SUNSETS IN STRANGE PLACES.
I WANT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT RACES.
I WANT MUSIC AND SILENCE.
I WANT DRUMS AND LOUDNESS.
I WANT TO SEE CITIES AND TOWNS.
I WANT WILDERNESS AND FORESTS.
I WANT DESERTS, RAINFALLS.
I WANT CASCADES AND WATERS.
I WANT RIVERS AND BANKS.
I WANT LOVE TO BE FOUND.
I WANT LAUGHTER AND CHILDREN.
I WANT PLAY AND REST.
I WANT TO GROW-UP.
HOLD MY CHILD AND TELL HER :
“YOU HAVE BEEN FOUND,
YOU HAVE BEEN LOVED,
BUT MORE THAN ANYTHING YOU HAVE GROWN UP”
By Yemibeth Zamora