TEXT AND PHOTO BY EDDIE G.
Most often, the “why’s” of life are questions to answers that are beyond our control. It is painful and frustrating to not have answers, and there is not much we can do about it. Or is there?
“Why does everything I do get met with opposition? Why does my friend or my loved one have Cancer? Why is it so hard to find employment, or to get a better job? Why doesn’t he or she love me, or why can’t we make it work? Why don’t I have a better relationship with my son or my daughter? Why are my parents so angry? Why is everyday life SO difficult? Why can’t I just be happy?”
Unanswered questions leave open doors to places no one wants to enter.
Unanswered questions leave open doors to places no one wants to enter, but that doesn’t stop our imagination from taking a peek. When that happens, we are led down a path of self doubt, self condemnation, and self hatred; there is no one to blame, so we blame ourselves. And, even if we were given the answers to these questions, very seldom would we find them satisfying.
There is always a second —and even a third— part of the question, an unhealthy “what if,” as our thoughts continue to look in empty places. We drift into a fantasy land, where our innermost wants and needs are met with the idea that we can get them from someone else. However, the only person who knows what they really are is our own-self, our Inner-Being, the One who lives inside of us. The answers are all there; they may not always be what we want to hear and they might be easier to ignore; perhaps they might make us feel worse than not knowing them and, once we realize it, we may even think it is better to not have known.
One of the most difficult things to do in this life, and one that I am personally and actively having trouble accepting and doing myself, is to make peace with those answers. If it were easy, there would be no “why’s,” but the answers are there.
A place of lies and secrets...must be explored, and if the circumstance calls, they must be exposed.
It is deep, it is dark, it is scary; it is a place no one wants to go; a place of lies and secrets that must be explored, and if the circumstance calls, they must be exposed.
But we do not have to go there alone. Hope 4 Life provides the type of environment where I can safely do just that. The classes provide instruction and tools; and the groups provide unconditional love, friendship, and support, without the fear of judgement. For the most part, we are all in the same boat, or at least a very similar boat. It is my “Youth Group for Adults,” a place where I can learn to fix what was broken long ago, and live in peace with the why’s of this life...